


Everybody Loves Jun

by Blk



Category: UNB (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-10-18 06:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17575994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blk/pseuds/Blk
Summary: Everybody loves Jun and Jun loves everybody. But there are people who want more than Jun's platonic bromance.Who will succeed in getting Jun to fall in love with them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So UNB just disbanded and this is my tribute to Jun. Yeah, just Jun. He's my fave so yeah.

**..Prologue..**

  
**United Nations of Beagles**

_Chan is online_

**Chan** : im drnku  
**Chan** : im gay  
**Chan** : im gya for jun  
**Chan** : jun i lvoe u  
**Chan** : jun relpy ty mw  
**Chan** : jun i loev yuo si muaj  
**Chan** : jun hva my babies  
**Chan** : jun plesa relpty me  
**Chan** : jun i wmnn marry u  
**Chan** : jun marry me  
**Chan** : jun i rlysy lveo i  
**Chan** : jun sya u loev me  
**Chan** : jun i wanna fuck u  
**Chan** : jun lte me fckuu  
**Chan** : jun i lvao u  
**Chan** : jun im sober now  
**Chan** : jun i wanna kiss you  
**Chan** : jun kiss me  
**Chan** : jun reply pls  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun im almost sober  
**Chan** : jun i wanna fuck you  
**Chan** : jun please be mine  
**Chan** : jun im yours  
**Chan** : jun marry me please  
**Chan** : jun i love your body  
**Chan** : jun let's fuck  
**Chan** : jun let's fuck  
**Chan** : jun let me fuck you  
**Chan** : jun let me fuck you  
**Chan** : jun let me fuck you  
**Chan** : jun let me fuck you  
**Chan** : jun let me fuck you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun i love you  
**Chan** : jun im sober now  
**Chan** : jun im sober ok  
**Chan** : jun i love you

_Hansol is online_

**Hansol** : NO  
**Hansol** : NO  
**Hansol** : NO  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : NOT YOURS  
**Hansol** : DO NOT STEAL MY BABY  
**Hansol** : JUN PICKED ME FIRST  
**Hansol** : JUN LOVES ME MORE  
**Hansol** : JUN LIKES OLDER MEN  
**Chan** : NO  
**Chan** : NO  
**Chan** : NO  
**Chan** : NO  
**Chan** : JUN ONLY FELT SORRY FOR YOU  
**Chan** : NO ONE LOVES YOU  
**Chan** : YOU DONT EVEN LOVE YOURSELF  
**Hansol** : JUN I LOVE YOU  
**Chan** : JUN I LOVE YOU MORE  
**Hansol** : JUN I LOVE YOU MOST

_Marco is online_

**Marco** : wow  
**Marco** : much drama  
**Marco** : such love  
**Marco** : wow

_Daewon is online_

**Daewon** : wtf is goin on  
**Marco** : ^^^  
**Marco** : LOL  
**Daewon** : marco fuck why does ur room smell like weed

_Hojung is online_

**Hojung** : srsly?  
**Hojung** : u guys blowing up my phone over junie  
**Hansol** : DO NOT CALL HIM JUNIE  
**Hansol** : ONLY I CAN CALL HIM JUNIE  
**Chan** : NO ONLY I CAN  
**Chan** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : JUN IS MINE NOT YOURS  
**Hojung** : wow  
**Marco** : such argument  
**Hojung** : much fight

_Kijung is online_

**Kijung** : wow  
**Kijung** : Jun hyung I love you  
**Hansol** : NO  
**Hansol** : DO NOT START  
**Hansol** : I WILL FIGHT YOU  
**Chan** : NO MERCY  
**Chan** : THIS IS FOR JUN  
**Chan** : JUN IS MINE  
**Hansol** : NO JUN IS MINE  
**Kijung** : Jun hyung I love you  
**Hansol** : NO  
**Chan** : NO  
**Marco** : Jun I wanna fuck you  
**Daewon** : oh no you didn't—  
**Hansol** : I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!  
**Chan** : YOU DIE  
**Hojung** : oh sweet junie pls leave this fucked up gc  
**Hojung** : hyung dont want ur pure soul to be corrupted  
**Hojung** : hyung cares about u  
**Hojung** : u like hojungie hyung the most, right junie-ah?  
**Hansol** : NO  
**Hansol** : I AM BEST HYUNG  
**Hansol** : NOT YOU  
**Daewon** : i thought i'm best hyung??  
**Marco** : I ARE BEST HYUNG  
**Marco** : I HAVE WEED  
**Marco** : JUN I HAVE WEED  
**Marco** : DAEWON SELLS WEED  
**Marco** : JUN LETS GET HIGH TOGETHER  
**Marco** : JUN I WANNA FUCK YOU  
**Marco** : WHILE HIGH  
**Marco** : LETS FUCK WHILE HIGH  
**Daewon** : I DO NOT SELL WEED  
**Daewon** : brb gonna kill marco

_Daewon is offline_

**Hansol** : I WILL KILL SOMEONE  
**Chan** : I'LL GET THE CHAINSAW

_Hansol is offline_

_Chan is offline_

_Marco is offline_

**Hojung** : i hear screams  
**Hojung** : ???  
**Kijung** : i think someone is dying  
**Kijung** : sounds like marco hyung  
**Hojung** : so...  
**Hojung** : ur not innocent, jungie?  
**Kijung** : nah  
**Kijung** : hangyul hyung happened  
**Hojung** : w o w  
**Kijung** : hangyul hyung says junie hyung has pretty nipples  
**Hojung** : irk  
**Hojung** : junie has best nipples  
**Kijung** : i wanna lick junie hyungs nipples  
**Hojung** : h o l y s h i t  
**Kijung** : hangyul hyung wants to eat junie hyungs ass tho  
**Kijung** : i wanna eat ass too  
**Kijung** : junie hyung has a pretty ass  
**Kijung** : maybe i can have a taste of junie hyungs pretty ass after hangyul hyung fucks it  
**Hojung** : !!!!!  
**Hojung** : hangyul has corrupted u  
**Hojung** : i secretly approve  
**Kijung** : wanna fuck junie hyung too...  
**Hojung** : u can do it after me  
**Kijung** : why u call dibs??  
**Hojung** : i am best hyung

_Daewon is online_

**Daewon** : done killing marco  
**Daewon** : what i miss  
**Hojung** : ^  
**Kijung** : ^  
**Daewon** : hangyul evil hyung but i am best hyung tho  
**Daewon** : i wanna see em pretty nipples too...  
**Kijung** : i know hangyul hyung got like 80+ pics of junie hyungs nipples  
**Daewon** : btw where r chan n hansol  
**Kijung** : i thought they were killing marco hyung  
**Daewon** : nah  
**Daewon** : they probably killin each other  
**Hojung** : lol  
**Hojung** : less people to compete with  
**Daewon** : why we all wanna fuck junie??  
**Hojung** : who dont wanna fuck junie??  
**Kijung** : feelie hyung and euijin hyung  
**Kijung** : i heard junie hyungs ukiss members will kill feelie hyung if he tries to fuck junie hyung  
**Daewon** : lol i think euijin hyung also wants to fuck junie

_Euijin is online_

**Euijin** : daddys here bitches  
**Euijin** : what i miss  
**Daewon** : ^  
**Euijin** : s h i t  
**Euijin** : h o l y s h i t  
**Euijin** : we all wanna fuck junie  
**Euijin** : wanna see more nipples tho  
**Euijin** : can we add hangyul to this gc??  
**Kijung** : no  
**Kijung** : he gonna spam us with unsolicited dick pics  
**Euijin** : someone create a new gc  
**Euijin** : call it 'operation: fuck junie'  
**Hojung** : i think someones already done that  
**Kijung** : probably dongmyeong  
**Hojung** : dat hoe  
**Kijung** : i think its private tho  
**Daewon** : speakin of private  
**Daewon** : junies in this gc as well  
**Hojung** : S H I T  
**Hojung** : DELETE EVERYTHING  
**Daewon** : no wait  
**Daewon** : junie aint here tho  
**Daewon** : he left the gc?!?  
**Kijung** : ill add him so we can all fuck  
**Kijung** : shit  
**Kijung** : whats his id?? Cant find him  
**Euijin** : actually no one knows his id  
**Euijin** : we cant add him  
**Daewon** : oh  
**Daewon** : what is junies id?? Anyone know!?  
**Hojung** : try lookin for lee junyoung  
**Euijin** : we tried  
**Euijin** : u dont think he blocked us??  
**Daewon** : cant be  
**Daewon** : did he??  
**Hojung** : try somethin like ukiss jun  
**Kijung** : try it in japanese  
**Daewon** : we tryin  
**Euijin** : gonna ask donghyun hyung  
**Kijung** : gonna ask ma boi hangyul

_Euijin is offline_

_Kijung is offline_

**Hojung** : so...  
**Hojung** : i have a few pics of junies pretty nipples  
**Daewon** : dmdmdmdmdm  
**Hojung** : gonna fill ur wankbank with junnies pretty nipples??  
**Daewon** : lips n nips r my thing  
**Hojung** : shit man  
**Hojung** : i like to eat cum off well fucked holes  
**Daewon** : kinky  
**Hojung** : wanna fuck junie so bad  
**Daewon** : someone add junie here so we can have an orgy  
**Hojung** : kill chan n hansol first tho  
**Hojung** : dem bitches aint gonna share  
**Daewon** : le sigh  
**Daewon** : im hard  
**Daewon** : gonna jack off to pics of junies nipples

_Daewon is offline_

**Hojung** : welp just me n my hand tonight

_Hojung is offline_

  
\---

  
**Peaches & Cream**

_Dongmyeong is online_

**Dongmyeong** : HELLO JUNIE

_Jun is online_

**Jun** : yo  
**Dongmyeong** : I LOVE U JUNIE  
**Jun** : love u too

_Hangyul is online_

**Hangyul** : hey junie baby~  
**Hangyul** : wyd?  
**Jun** : nothin  
**Dongmyeong** : JUNIE SEND ME A PIC I MISS U ALREADY  
**Jun** : ???  
**Dongmyeong** : I WANNA SEE U  
**Dongmyeong** : PLEASE?!?  
**Hangyul** : send us a pic  
**Hangyul** : need more pouty junie pics for my wankbank  
**Hangyul** : i dream of wakin up with ur perfect pouty lips wrapped around my big hard cock  
**Hangyul** : then u gonna ride me with dat sweet ass baby  
**Hangyul** : u gonna be loose tho cuz i been fuckin u all night long  
**Hangyul** : but ur cute lil hole still so tight cuz my dick too big  
**Hangyul** : my cums drippin down ur lucious thighs  
**Hangyul** : shit im hard  
**Hangyul** : I have 6gb worth of space alloted for my junie collection™  
**Hangyul** : i really like ur nipples btw  
**Dongmyeong** : JUNIE HAS THE PRETTIEST NIPPLES  
**Jun** : srsly  
**Jun** : u guys are freaks at least unbeagles are innocent  
**Dongmyeong** : BUT I LOVE U!!!  
**Dongmyeong** : LOVE ME TOO JUNIE!!!  
**Jun** : i'm sad n alone so i love whoever loves me  
**Dongmyeong** : I WILL MAKE U HAPPY JUNIE  
**Dongmyeong** : COME HERE JUNIE I WILL MAKE LOVE TO YOU  
**Hangyul** : eyyy ya'll up for a 3way?? I'm game  
**Dongmyeong** : BUT I WANT IT TO BE SPECIAL  
**Hangyul** : add a dose of hangyul to anythin n it becomes special  
**Hangyul** : btw why is kijung askin if i kno ur line id junie?  
**Hangyul** : he says he cant find u  
**Hangyul** : u didnt block dem unbitches did ya??  
**Jun** : maybe they blocked me??  
**Jun** : checked my blocked list yo  
**Jun** : dem bitches blocked me  
**Hangyul** : dem hoes  
**Hangyul** : u too good for unb  
**Hangyul** : join us instead  
**Hangyul** : les miserables  
**Hangyul** : 3 months of shitfuck n we get nothin  
**Hangyul** : shitfuckin show scammed us  
**Hangyul** : i sold giseoks bone marrow for this  
**Jun** : bitches ain't even payin my bills  
**Hangyul** : sell kijungs kidney to pay ur bills  
**Jun** : how much his kidney worth tho  
**Hangyul** : enough to afford a subway  
**Jun** : im kinda vegan but only on ig  
**Hangyul** : subway dont have a vegan option??  
**Jun** : i dont eat junkfood  
**Hangyul** : is semen vegan?  
**Jun** : maybe?? Its organic tho  
**Hangyul** : then u can drink my cum??  
**Jun** : lol no that's junkfood  
**Dongmyeong** : I SWEAR I DIDNT HACK ANYONES ACCOUNT  
**Dongmyeong** : I DIDNT HACK THE SYSTEM  
**Dongmyeong** : IM A GOOD BOY

_Donghyun is online_

**Donghyun** : Why is Euijin asking me if I know Jun's line id??  
**Donghyun** : You didn't block them did u?  
**Jun** : they blocked ME  
**Donghyun** : Well they dumb  
**Donghyun** : brb gonna throw a kettle ball @ euijin

_Donghyun is offline_

**Jun** : S H I T  
**Jun** : WTF WAS THAT NOISE  
**Jun** : ARE WE BEING BOMBED?!?!  
**Jun** : HELP I THINK EUIJIN HYUNG IS DEAD

_Donghyun is online_

**Donghyun** : Hi Junie  
**Donghyun** : Are u bored? Do u want to play with best hyung?  
**Donghyun** : I have a PS4 that I stole from Euijin which he stole from Seyong  
**Donghyun** : Don't tell  
**Jun** : u got guilty gear?  
**Donghyun** : Yes  
**Jun** : i'm magically teleporting it here  
**Dongmyeong** : LOVE U JUNIE  
**Hangyul** : lets sex dice instead  
**Jun** : u a freak  
**Jun** : all my friends are freaks  
**Donghyun** : Even me?  
**Jun** : not really...  
**Jun** : Donghyun appa~ Wanna play with Junie~?

_Donghyun is offline_

**Dongmyeong** : OHHHHH  
**Dongmyeong** : DONGHYUN HYUNG GETS IMMEDIATELY HARD IF U CALL HIM DADDY  
**Jun** : see?  
**Jun** : all my friends are freaks except unbeagles  
**Dongmyeong** : EVEN ME?!

_Jun sent a photo_

**Dongmyeong** : OMG JUNIE SO HANDSOME  
**Dongmyeong** : I LOVE U JUNIE  
**Dongmyeong** : EXCUSE ME JUNIE I HAVE SOME 'BUSINESS' TO ATTEND TO

_Dongmyeong is offline_

**Jun** : all my friends are freaks  
**Hangyul** : im a super freak  
**Hangyul** : the only freak u need  
**Hangyul** : so freaky i wanna fuck u while singin in the rain  
**Jun** : do not go clockwork orange on me u freak  
**Hangyul** : love u junie~  
**Jun** : brb gonna play ps4

_Jun is offline_

**Hangyul** : ur anal virginity is gonna be mine junie  
**Hangyul** : just u wait

_Hangyul is offline_

  
\---

  
**United Nations of Beagles**

_Feeldog is online_

**Feeldog** : Mama Dogie just got back from the studio  
**Feeldog** : What did I miss, kids?

_Hojung is online_

**Hojung** : ^  
**Feeldog** : Ooh, you kids talked a lot. Let Mama Dogie scroll up for a moment...  
**Feeldog** : ...!!!

_Feeldog is offline_


	2. J=Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kijung, Dongmyeong and Hojung's fantasies about Jun. Feat. Marco, Chan, Euijin, Yebin, Anne and Daewon.

**Marco & Kijung's Room**

Kijung sighed as he tossed in his bed, unable to sleep. He kept hugging and kissing Jun's cheek today, but the older boy doesn't seem to notice the hidden desire behind his affections. All Jun does is pat him on the head like a kid.

_I want Jun hyung to notice me._

Well, Jun does, but it's not enough, because he's stuck in the Dongsaeng Zone, which is worse than the Chingu Zone that Chan found himself in. Literally everyone younger than Jun is put into the Dongsaeng Zone, even Dongmyeong.

...The only exception is Hangyul, whose mature charm enamoured Jun. Maybe Hansol is right, Jun _does_ like older men, or in Hangyul's case, older-looking men.

Curiously, Kijung checked his phone for the time. It's 2:45 and they have to be up by 7. Kijung sighed, closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep, and hopefully dream of Jun.

...But he wasn't asleep for long. Or was he? Kijung thinks he slept for less than an hour. And he feels... _hot_. Down there.

Kijung's woken up with a morning wood tons of times, it's normal at his age. But something is _different_. It's hot but _wet_ and _tight_. Kijung opens his eyes slightly and sees that his blanket has been thrown off. His pajama bottoms have been pulled down (did he do that in his sleep?), and his dick is exposed. There's a hand steadily wanking him, but it's not his own.

Kijung panics, thinking it's Marco, but when he sits up, Jun is smiling down at him, giving him a handjob. Marco seems to be out of bed for some reason. Is it morning already?

"Quiet." Jun shushes him before he could yell. "I was gonna wake you two up but the door was open and you seem to be troubled. So I'm lending you a hand." Jun chuckles at his own pun while Kijung is too shocked and aroused to respond properly.

Kijung can't believe his eyes. Jun, the beautiful angel haunting his wet dreams, is in his bed, jerking him off in the early morning.

"Jun hyung..." Kijung moans, involuntarily thrusting into Jun's fist, causing the older boy to chuckle.

"Easy. You've been working hard these days. Hyung wants to give you a gift."

_I hope my gift is what I think it is..._

Kijung could orgasm right then and there when the older boy bends down and swipes his tongue on the maknae's tip, collecting the pre-cum that gathered there. Jun innocently looks at Kijung from his long lashes as he takes the head into his mouth, teasing the slit with his tongue before lightly sucking his dick like a lollipop.

"J-Jun hyung..." Kijung bites his lip, using all of his willpower not to thrust into that hot, wet cavern. He grips the headboard tightly to stop himself from grabbing Jun by the hair and face-fucking him.

Jun takes a little more into his mouth, causing Kijung to buck up, the tip of his dick hitting the back of the older boy's throat. Kijung cries out apologies as Jun pulls back a little.

"So big... Do you think I can take all of little Jungie in me? You might break me. But you'd like that, won't you?" Jun teased, mouthing along the length of Kijung's dick.

"I-I want... Jun hyung... to deepthroat me..." Kijung can't believe his own words.

Jun blushes. "I'll do my best, Jungie." he says with a cute grin before diving right back in, swallowing 3/4 of Kijung's dick in one go. This goes on for a bit while Jun tries to relax his throat.

Kijung wails when Jun squeezes his balls and moans around his cock. He's thrashing on the bed when Jun takes him even deeper. But before Jun could actually deepthroat him, a loud, blaring alarm sounds off in the distance.

Marco bursts into the room, shirtless, wearing apple green hot pants, a cowboy hat, knee-high rainbow socks but no shoes and a purple feather boa. He's holding a beer-filled red solo cup in one hand and the other is holding a boombox playing Big Bang's Fantastic Baby.

Kijung wakes up in cold sweat. He sits up, dick achingly hard between his legs and checks the time. 2:50... he's been asleep for like, five minutes but Dream-Jun's blowjob felt like it lasted 10 minutes. He jets out of the room and practically breaks down the bathroom door so he can jerk off in pitiful silence.

He was about to jerk off when Chan enters the room, holding a flask filled with some weird liquid.

"Hey Chan..." Kijung greets. "You need to use the bathroom too?" he asked, eyeing the flask cautiously.

Chan takes a swig of the strange liquid and offers it to Kijung.

"Drink?"

Kijung politely takes the flask and has a sip. He almost spits it out but doesn't, then looks at the label.

**WARNING!**  
_**May cause sudden erections and sexual hallucinations** _

Kijung starts to hallucinate that Chan is Jun, so he ravages the other man. He settles the flask on top of the toilet seat, and proceeds to rip Chan's clothes. Chan is also hallucinating that Kijung is Jun, so he gladly accepts.

Kijung wastes no time and pops Chan's precious cherry. After he finished, they switch places, with Chan taking Kijung from behind.

This is the story of how Kijung and Chan came to hate each other.

  
\---

  
**Early morning, Jun & Chan's room**

Jun wakes up at 5 am to get ready for his morning run with Hojung, Dongmyeong and Hangyul. He picked Chan as his roomie for the hell of it, but the other guy never sleeps, so it was hard sneaking out of his own room with Chan stalking him all the time. Thankfully, Chan isn't here, so Jun doesn't have to move in the cover of darkness.

When Jun got to the living room, Hojung was already in his running gear - grey hoodie, grey sweatpants, grey sneakers.

"Someone likes _50 Shades_..." Jun teased.

Hojung smirked. "Very funny, Junie."

Hojung imagines sweet virgin Jun tied to the bed and blindfolded. A blush would color his pale cheeks a cute pink, to match with his kiss-swollen cherry red lips.

_Mm, cherries..._

Hojung would tease Jun to no end until the younger boy is crying and begging for release. He'll remove the blindfold to see Jun's pretty eyes welling with tears of pain and pleasure. Hojung would kiss those tears away and make love to Jun, easy when popping his cherry. Afterwards, he's just gonna wreck Jun like he always wanted to.

_Be a good boy for hyung, Junie baby._

...But Real-Jun was looking at him, expecting another snarky comment, so Hojung composes himself before he gets hard.

"I see you're into pastels now. Is that a new trend you're trying out?" he points to Jun's powder blue sweatpants and pale pink T-shirt.

Jun cooly brushes that comment off. "It matches with my new shoes." he says, showing off his saucy Sketchers that his sugar momma Euijin got for him.

"Yeah, you've been showing that to us a lot. We already know it's expensive. Anyway, we need to sneak out before Feelie hyung wakes up." Hojung reminds him.

The older man eyes Jun's butt in those pants, noticing how perky it looks.

"You've been doing squats, huh?" Hojung teased, lightly tapping Jun's butt.

Jun chuckles. "Yeah. Euijin noona is a good instructor." he says, remembering how Euijin's dainty hands would caress his thighs while helping him do squats.

Hojung thought he heard 'noona', but that's impossible. Jun is gay, there's no way he likes girls? Right...? Ignoring that, he leads the younger boy past Feeldog's anti-sneak traps and they jog around the dorm's vicinity.

Dongmyeong and Hangyul meet up with them halfway and 4/6 of the Handsome Boys are happily jogging away. Dongmyeong is fanboying over Jun while Hojung and Hangyul lustfully gaze at Jun's sexy back. Jun knows he's hot but he's oblivious to the fact that his hotness also attracts males.

Since it was still early, they decide to hit the exclusive 24-hour gym, where a lot of Idols go to. Hangyul and Hojung decide today is arms day. Jun and Dongmyeong plan on doing a light full-body workout.

When they reach the gym, two familiar faces greet them: Yebin and Euijin.

"Hey ladies." Jun begins, eyeing Euijin's perfect S-line through her tight-fitting gym clothes.

"Hey baby boy." Euijin greets.

"Hi honey." Yebin says.

The two girls look at each other, settling into an awkward moment of silence.

Jun smiles at them. "So, who wants to be my gym buddy today?" he asked.

"Hyung will be your gym buddy!" Hojung declares.  
"Sure, let's play." Euijin purrs.  
"Wanna be mine, Junie?" Hangyul asks.  
"It has to be me!" Yebin exclaims.  
"I volunteer as gym buddy!" Dongmyeong begs.

They all spoke at the same time that Jun didn't really get who said what.

"Okay... let's just... get going?" Jun tries to ease the tension. It was still awkward.

So, Jun heads to the exercise mats after depositing his gym bag. He starts with a basic warm-up before doing some squats.

Dongmyeong, Euijin and Yebin soon join him while Hojung and Hangyul head to another area. Dongmyeong sets up a timer for their squats and takes his place next to Jun. Euijin saunters up to him, lightly caressing his butt.

"You're doing great, baby boy. If you're not busy tonight, drop me a DM later." the older girl purrs seductively.

Yebin picks a spot a few mats away, looks back and smirks sexily at Jun as she bends over to do stretches. When Jun doesn't seem interested, Yebin pouts in disappointment.

Jun focuses on his workout, with Dongmyeong being the best gym buddy ever. He gets the best workout done with the little guy around. After they finish their squats, they rest for a couple minutes, deciding which exercise to do next.

"We can do crunches." Dongmyeong suggests. "Or Russian twists. I know you prefer that."

"You can do crunches first. I'll count for you." Jun offers.

"Great! I'll do 50 reps!" Dongmyeong exclaims, getting into position as Jun holds his knees in place.

Jun glances at Euijin, who is doing a plank beside them, then to Yebin, who is doing leg lifts. Dongmyeong also notices that. He actually wishes it was Anne from S.I.S. doing leg lifts, he would like that more.

He knows Jun is bi-curious; Dongmyeong himself is bisexual and he relates so much to Jun's confusion. Jun helped him boost his self-confidence and Dongmyeong is eternally grateful for the older boy's kindness, so he's willing to help him experiment. If Jun feels right like _this_ , he might develop feelings for Dongmyeong. Jun _might_ return Dongmyeong's love.

Dongmyeong gazes into Jun's pretty face, his mellow eyes, the sweat dripping down his temple, that tongue darting out to lick his full lips, the labored breathing... He closes his eyes, willing his sexual fantasy to go away.

"Myeongie..." Jun sounds breathless and Dongmyeong's eyes snap open.

They're in the gym, seemingly alone, and Jun is on top of him, grinding their clothed cocks together.

"Jun, ah..." Dongmyeong thrusts up as Jun lowers their shorts. He helps out, lifting his butt off the exercise mat so Jun can slide his shorts off.

The older man grabs their cocks and lazily jerks them off together. Dongmyeong kisses Jun forcefully, sucking those pouty lips until they're red and swollen.

"Naughty, naughty." Euijin scolds playfully, appearing behind Jun. She pulls his shirt up to his chest and teases his nipples. "Playing without me? Bad boy. You need to get punished."

Jun is pulled off Dongmyeong, his shorts cast aside by the older woman. Dongmyeong isn't left alone for long, as Anne appears beside him, at the same time that Yebin appears in front of Jun.

Yebin and Anne position themselves on their knees, so Jun and Dongmyeong get into place behind them. Euijin continues to play with Jun's nipples as Dongmyeong pulls him down to kiss him while they enter Yebin and Anne.

Dongmyeong smashes his lips against the older boy's mouth, exploring the hot cavern with his tongue. Jun breaks the kiss with a shuddering moan, one hand grabbing onto Yebin's hip and the other at Dongmyeong's shoulder.

Euijin kisses Jun's shoulder as she pushes her strap-on inside him.

"Bad boys get punishment... But it seems you like being a bad boy, don't you, Junie-ah?"

Dongmyeong kisses Jun to swallow his moan, but Jun breaks free from his hold.

"Myeongie!" Real-Jun hissed. "Are you an exhibitionist?"

Dongmyeong snaps out of his sexual fantasy. His dick is hard and making a tent in his pants.

"I'll... uh, handle this. You go on without me." Dongmyeong says, shame slowly eating him up.

He rushes to the shower and freezes his balls blue.

  
\---

  
**After that awkward gym session...**

Hojung and Jun part ways with Dongmyeong and Hangyul. The girls left earlier and gave their regards to UNB. Hojung and Jun sneak back into the dorm.

Only Daewon was awake, the poor guy is traumatized.

Daewon was about to take a piss when he sees Chan and Kijung having hallucination sex.

And this is why Kijung hates both Chan and Daewon.


	3. J=Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun's Misery Business™

_UNBeagles HQ, morning_

Mama Dogie makes delicious breakfast for the kids while Papa Jin chills on the couch, sipping coffee and reading a tabloid, because those always contain the good stuff. Daewon was about to use the bathroom until he saw Chan and Kijung having hallucination sex. At that point, Kijung snapped out of it and came inside Chan for the 57th time that morning. While Kijung and Chan have mental breakdowns in the bathroom, Jun enjoys a few moments of silence in his room, hugging a cute bunny plushie that sugar momma Euijin gave him. Hojung's room has a hidden BDSM dungeon, where he kept his slave, Hansol, locked up last night. He uses his slave for a quickie then leaves Hansol to clean up the mess while he sleeps. Marco staggers out of his shared room with Kijung, still high from whatever he smoked last night, and promptly falls asleep in the hallway.

Mama Dogie and Auntie Daewon coax the children into the Land of Sanity with a fierce tongue-lashing while Papa Jin disciplines Marco, Chan and Kijung with a paddle he got from Hojung's 'toybox' (he also spanked Hansol for the lulz). As soon as Jun and Hojung were decent, they were ushered by Auntie Daewon into the dining room, where Mama Dogie lectures them while they eat. Papa Jin drags Marco and Kijung to eat with their 'brothers' (Chan is still doped on cactus essence) at the dining room.

The beagles (+Devil Jun) have their breakfast like a normal family, except for a few things... Namely, Chan is naked, covered in Kijung's cum, and drinking 1L of extra-strong coffee. Also, Hansol is wearing a pink sparkly unicorn onesie, which Jun gave him so he treasures it, but it was actually a joke gift from Block B's Jaehyo and Jun is too nice to throw it away.

After everyone looks presentable enough, the UNBeagles are off to tackle the day ahead! The hyung line (Feeldog, Euijin and Daewon) go to a dance variety show, while Marco is set for an appearance at _Gag Concert_. As for Chan, he's still sulking that he lost his penile and anal virginity to Kijung of all people, so he dug a hole and hid himself there.

* * *

  _Jun's schedule..._

Jun has more stuff to do than the beagles, who are mostly stuck with UNB-specific activities, meaning they have more free time while he's swamped with schedules. Hojung, Hansol and Kijung insisted on tagging along with Jun, which would be fun if only they got a van and not a second-hand 5-seater family car from the 60's, and if they actually had a driver. Jun's a crappy driver, Kijung's also bad at driving, and while Hojung knows how to drive, he doesn't know where he's going. Jun looks at the list of prospect drivers from his phone's contacts:

 **Donghyun** \- can't drive  
**Dongmyeong** \- can't drive  
**Hangyul** \- gets DUIs even when sober

Desperate, Jun turns to his trusty GC.

* * *

**Les Miserables**

_Jun is online_

**Jun** : help me

_Seyong is online_

**Seyong** : what  
**Jun** : need driver  
**Seyong** : what  
**Seyong** : unbitches got no driver  
**Seyong** : kbullshit sucks  
**Seyong** : shitty scam show  
**Jun** : salty much?  
**Seyong** : not as much as timo n lee geon  
**Seyong** : hell even suwoongs saltier than me  
**Jun** : so much salt  
**Jun** : this gc needs rockhyun hyung  
**Seyong** : i'd rather drown in salt than be converted to rockhyun n donghyuns sweetassness  
**Jun** : can u drive me around hyung?  
**Seyong** : why tf would i do that  
**Jun** : i'll blow u next week. Gotta perform later  
**Seyong** : lemme eat dat virgin ass n we got a deal  
**Jun** : fine  
**Seyong** : i'll be there in 5 mins

* * *

And thus, Seyong was chosen, meaning the four of them had to cram into the backseat cause they were all afraid of Seyong, especially Kijung, who lost his innocence and at least 50 years of his life to the sexy devil. As much as Hojung loves Jun, the younger boy has terrible motion sickness and he doesn't want to end up covered in puke, so he sat as far away from him as possible. Kijung took the seat next to him and Hansol got the spot next to Jun.

After checking the breaks and amount of gas they have left, Seyong drove at 100 mph without fastening his seatbelt because what the hell is a speed limit? Jun arrives for his morning schedule — an interview with the Japanese magazine _Haru Hana_ — on time.

Seyong goes out for a smoke while Hojung, Hansol and Kijung accompany Jun to the venue of the interview, a hippie café with great backdrops and nice coffee. Jun and Kijung get iced Americano because they're cool, Hojung gets an espresso because he's classy, and Hansol settles for water cause they're short on cash.

The interview is in Japanese, and they can't understand anything, but Hansol and Kijung swoon as Jun answers the questions the female journalist is asking him. Hojung is a multi-tasking flirt — he's chatting with the sexy barista while eyeing Jun across the room. It seems like the interview is about U-KISS, but this was scheduled before UNB was even formed so no one was bothered. The interview looks over when Jun stands, but it was for a quick photoshoot to accompany the interview. Jun notices Hojung gazing at him with those intense, dark eyes, and gets an idea.

“If it's no trouble, may I use this opportunity to promote my other group, UNB? Three of the members are here with me.” Jun asked the Japanese magazine's crew.

“Yeah, but we can't talk about UNB too much, it would only be a bonus. Japanese KISS-MEs always appreciate material from the U-KISS members.” the female reporter replies.

Excited at the prospect of more popularity for UNB, Jun walks over to the other guys. Seyong also enters the café after his cigarette break and orders whatever Jun and Kijung had. Jun sits next to Hansol, causing Kijung to pout cutely (Jun hates cute things so it's ineffective).

“I asked the reporter if we can promote UNB on the magazine and she said it's okay. They'll take a few pictures and mention UNB in passing, but the magazine is popular and my interview is the cover story.” Jun said, intriguing Hojung and especially Seyong.

“Did someone say popularity?” Seyong asked, sliding next to Kijung, nearly giving the boy a heart attack.

“Yeah. Wanna join us as the honorary 10th member, Seyong hyung?” Jun asked. Hansol, Hojung and Kijung protested, but one look from The Devil shuts them up.

Seyong takes the initiative and drags Jun with him to do the photoshoot. Hojung soon follows, Kijung trailing behind him, but Hansol is frozen in some kind of trance. It would appear that seeing Jun be treated so roughly by The Devil caused Hansol's unicorn state of mind to be troubled. Normally, there are rainbows and fluffy kittens in his head, but The Devil has bought about chocolate abs and smoking hotness to his pure and innocent world.

...As a result, the photoshoot ends without Hansol but has Seyong in the photos, but no one cares because the cute shot of Seyong and Jun having coffee together will definitely grab attention, but it might also break the hearts of many of Jun's admirers, including 2Jung, who were paired up, resulting in a lackluster shot of Hojung looking pissed at his now-cold espresso while Kijung is absently stirring his coffee with the straw.

* * *

  _Nylon 'Live Shoot'_

After the interview, Jun has a 'pure and angelic'-themed photoshoot with _Nylon_ , so he's made to look younger, sweeter and more innocent. This is one of those trendy 'live shoots' where other designers and magazine editors openly watch him at work. If he does well, he can score another modeling gig, but his plan is to get them interested in Hojung, Kijung and Hansol.

His outfits are on the neutral side of the palette — whites, creams and beiges mixed with dusky pinks, slate greys and even navy blues. _However_ , the clothing brand he's endorsing is giving him a nice pale pink dress shirt with white pinstripes, which makes his complexion look brighter. They also added slim-fitting beige slacks that enhance his long and elegant legs. Life is good.

Jun hoped Hojung would get modeling offers since he's a top visual as per K-Pop standards, but there's Seyong, who now has a few calling cards and a shoot scheduled next week for _GQ_ , with a very fitting 'modern and macho' theme. So much for getting UNB exposure, he should have let Hojung drive, _Google Maps_ surely can't fail (then again, it's Hojung).

Jun got about 12 offers and accepted 7 that he can fit into his schedule, the others are tentative but the editors and designers are insistent, so he might as well confirm by tonight.

Kijung and Hojung eventually scored jobs, but poor Hansol, who is dreamily watching his 'lover', was ignored in favor of Seyong, who is actively seeking stuff to do.

* * *

_“Magic Beauty Water” CF shoot_

Jun doesn't even know why he accepted this CF deal, since these "beauty waters" primarily target women, but the pay is good and he needs money. Basically they had to make him look haggard and unattractive for the first part of the CF, then after he drinks the "beauty water", he turns into his normal self. Unfortunately, they can't quite get Jun to look ugly, so the sleep-deprived Seyong had to step in and they completely changed the script.

Seyong and Jun are made to look like idols in the same group, with Hojung and Kijung as extras (poor Hansol); Seyong is tired from their performance while Jun looks as fresh as ever. He then hands a bottle of "beauty water" to post- _The Unit_ Seyong, who magically rewinds into 2011-era Seyong. Then they endorse the product, but this time Hojung and Kijung appear next to them (someone in the production team must hate Hansol).

* * *

_Lunch break at last, because Kijung is damn hungry from waiting_

“Hyungs! I'm hungry!” Kijung complained as they squeezed into the backseat of the car. Seyong, Jun and Hojung ignored him.

“We'll have lunch now, Kijungie. What do you want to eat?” Hansol asked.

“Uh... tacos.” Kijung replied after a few seconds. “And tteokbokki with cheese. I'd also like to drink something cold and sweet.”

“Hmm, tacos, tteokbokki with cheese and sweet drinks...” Hansol thinks about that. “We can get those later for snacks. Now, any other suggestions for lunch?”

“Drive-thru at _McDonalds_.” Hojung replied, checking their funds for today. “That's literally the best thing we can afford with this.” he shows them the meager money rationed for their group.

Hansol turns to Jun, placing his hand on the younger boy's thigh and squeezing lightly. “What do you want for lunch, Junie-ah?” he asked.

“Ehhh... whatever you want, Hansol hyung.” Jun replies, not really in the mood for lunch. Seyong's reckless driving, the disgusting stench of the car's fake pine tree air freshener and that artificially-flavored "beauty water" he had to drink earlier is _really_ doing wonders for his motion sickness.

Hansol misinterprets this as Jun caring so much for him that the younger boy is putting his needs first. It brings tears of absolute joy to his eyes and his heart is filled with overwhelming love for Jun. He pulls the younger boy into his arms, savoring the warmth of his love's body close to him, inhaling his soft, delicate yet masculine scent and nuzzling his soft cheek. Hansol hopes he can channel how much he loves Jun into this hug, because words usually fail him.

Jun, on the other hand, feels suffocated; Hansol's weird floral cologne is messing with his senses, making him feel even dizzier if that's possible. He notices Kijung side-glaring at Hansol, so he reaches for the maknae's sleeve, tugging lightly to call his attention. Kijung thankfully looks at him and smiles sweetly, but Jun looks at him pleadingly, hoping he can peel off his pastel unicorn before Jun gets infected by the  _hansoliviridae_ virus(which reportedly causes people to vomit glitter and have rainbow diarrhea).

Kijung's wet dreams are suddenly coming to life; Jun's pretty eyes are staring into his very soul, that pleading look is tugging on his heart, making his love for the older boy grow stronger. He reaches for Jun and gently caresses his cheek.

“Are you hungry too, Jun hyung? Let's eat well later.” Kijung says, looking into his eyes with love and admiration.

Jun would facepalm if he wasn't feeling so terrible right now.

“Hey sluts!! Where the fuck are we eating?!” Seyong snaps, slamming his foot hard on the breaks as an old fart crosses the road. “I'm fucking hungry, pick a goddamn place so we can fucking eat!!”

“I said _McDonalds_ already.” Hojung groans, feeling his stomach grumbling in hunger.

“I think we should try _Sweet Baby Pastel Love Café_!” Hansol suggested, pointing at the bright pastel pink-coloured store. “The food is cheap but great! We can order a mini unicorn-shaped cupcake for dessert!”

Seyong, Hojung, Jun and Kijung cringe in absolute revulsion.

“W-Well, since we're all hungry...” Hojung hates this, but his hunger has gotten the best of him. “Let's... just eat...”

* * *

_Hansol's favorite café, everyone else's nightmare_

...Except Seyong, Hojung and Kijung make a beeline for _McDonalds_ , which is just across the road, leaving Jun to suffer alone. Also, he pukes mint green and aqua blue glitter and he probably also shits rainbows now, so he might as well accept his fate.

Hansol holds Jun's hand as they look for available seats, and instantly they can feel the stares they're getting from the staff and customers. Luckily (or not), the café has a 'couple booth' that offers more privacy to a dating couple who doesn't want to attract unnecessary attention. Hansol selects that spot, and while Jun is thankful for the extra bit of privacy, the booth, from the plush heart-shaped chairs, the gaudy wall 'art' and the pink lace mantel are... not his style. But Hansol did two things right about picking this café — the food is _cheap_ and it has wifi!

“What do you want to eat, Junie?” Hansol asked, flipping through the menu.

“Have you eaten here before, hyung?” Jun asks back.

“Yeah, a few times, when I was still an SM Rookie. Yuta introduced me to this café. They offer both Korean, Japanese and Western-style food. This spicy pasta with parmesan is a bestseller. Also, their pink lemonade is refreshing.” Hansol recommends.

“That's nice. I'll let you order my food, hyung.” Jun said, already looking at desserts. “But I wanna try this dark chocolate cupcake with chesnut cream.”

“Wow, my Junie has such a mature taste~” Hansol says dreamily. “Okay Junie, let hyung order for you!” and with that, Hansol calls the waiter and orders their food.

Jun honestly just wants to get this over with. Once UNB is a full group, he can hide behind Mama Dogie, Papa Jin and Auntie Daewon. Those three are crazy but at least they're not freaks like these guys. Hojung eye-fucks him, Hansol is like a lovestruck puppy, Kijung is Hangyul's disciple, Marco is Marco and the less said about Chan, his ~~stalker~~ most admant admirer, the better.

Hansol snapped a few selfies with Jun when the food arrived, planning on posting them later when he has a proper caption.

* * *

After lunch, it was (thankfully) UNB time, but Seyong still lingers, because The Devil will always be next to The Angel (Daewon).

The moment Chan sees Jun again, he is instantly revitalized with the **POWER OF LOVE** , but remains wary of his rivals (basically everyone except Mama Dogie). Chan remains vigilant as he ~~stalks~~ protects Jun from those who want to steal him away from his rightful prince.

Feeldog and Euijin keep the group relatively stable even as Chan does Chan things and Marco does Marco things.

UNB doesn't have any songs yet, but they're working on it, and Daewon is composing a track for their debut album. Euijin and Feeldog are already planning possible choreos for their songs, while Jun and Kijung got additional vocal training to prepare them for their roles. The company doesn't know what to do with Hojung and Hansol yet, but they're pushing Hojung as a CF model and hopes Hansol will get more confident so they can show him a bit more. Marco... well, is still Marco. Chan is an oddball case — he's an integral part of the group but his cactus addiction problem needs to be addressed, so his A.C.E. buddies have been called in to scold the loving shit out of him.

Even with all the problems they face, UNB had a successful schedule. Sort of.

* * *

 **@ji_hansol**  
date with @ukiss_jun97 💖💖💖  
[photo]

 **@ko_hojung_hotshot** : RULES: DO NOT @ CHAN  
**@kim_kijoong** : so cute~ 💖💖💖  
    **@ukiss_jun97** : really?  
    **@ji_hansol** : kijungie is cute too~ come with us next time💖  
**@euijin_bigflo_daonez** : u look like a couple  
    **@ji_hansol** : 💖💖💖  
**@daewon__92** : i want lemonade too~ 🍋🍋🍋  
    **@ji_hansol** : come with us next time daewon hyung!  
**@marco_hby** : @ace_kang_yuchan  
**@ko_hojung_hotshot** : wtf marco  
**@kim_kijoong** : u just unleashed hell  
**@daewon__92** : brb gonna kill marco  
**@euijin_bigflo_daonez** : i'll be at the fallout shelter if u need me  
**@daewon__92** : aka my room  
**@ukiss_jun97** : if we go to daewon hyung's room, we can survive the apocalypse  
    **@daewon__92** : so i am best hyung right??  
    **@euijin_bigflo_daonez** : keep dreaming lol  
**@kim_kijoong** : WTF IS DAT NOISE  
    **@ukiss_jun97** : that's chan  
**@ko_hojung_hotshot** : UNBEAGLE EVACUATION START  
**@kim_kijoong** : I'LL BRING AN INFINITE SUPPLY OF DONUTS 🍩🍩🍩  
    **@ukiss_jun97** : i'm vegan!!!  
    **@marco_hby** : only on ig lel  
**@kim_kijoong:** I'LL BRING LOTS OF CARROTS AND TOMATOES🥕🍅🥕🍅  
    **@ukiss_jun97** : i'm not a rabbit!!!  
    **@ko_hojung_hotshot** : then r u a playboy bunny? 🐰👀  
    **@marco_hby** : me gusta 🍆  
    **@euijin_bigflo_daonez** : WE HAVE CHILDREN HERE!!!  
    **@daewon__92** : brb gonna kill marco again  
**@kim_kijoong** : OMG  
**@kim_kijoong** : THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR  
**@ko_hojung_hotshot** : BRACE YOURSELVES  
**@ko_hojung_hotshot** : THE WRATH OF CHAN IS COMING  
**@daewon__92** : hansol ain't here yet!!!  
**@ace_kang_yuchan** : i am coming  
**@ko_hojung_hotshot** : let us commemorate hansol's sacrifice with songs  
**@ko_hojung_hotshot** : goodbye to you my trusted friend  
    **@kim_kijoong** : in the end it doesn't even matter  
    **@daewon__92** : when the darkness turns to light it ends tonight  
    **@euijin_bigflo_daonez** : so long and goodnight  
    **@marco_hby** : AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUU  
    **@ukiss_jun97** : i wanna end me  
**@fxxldoggssy** : OMG my babies are so cute~ 💖💖💖


	4. J=Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hojung finally adds Jun to the chat.  
> Nothing happens.

**United Nations of Beagles**

_Chan is online_

**Chan** : jun i lvoe u  
**Chan** : jun pls love me back  
**Chan** : jun i know u love me  
**Chan** : jun dont hide ur ffeeelin  
**Chan** : jun our love is real  
**Chan** : jun i lfeel ur love  
**Chan** : jun i know ur my destiny  
**Chan** : jun let me love u  
**Chan** : jun let me make love to u  
**Chan** : jun love me  
**Chan** : jun i swear im not drunk  
**Chan** : jun pls reply  
**Chan** : jun i love u

_Hojung is online_

**Hojung** : junie is STILL not in this gc so u wastin ur time  
**Chan** : fick off  
**Hojung** : srsly  
**Hojung** : i'll just tie jun to the bed so we can all bang him  
**Chan** : NO  
**Chan** : JUN BELONGS TO ME  
**Hojung** : just add cactus essence n junies gonna be ours  
**Chan** : NO

_Daewon is online_

**Daewon** : use condoms!

_Marco is online_

**Marco** : PROMOTE SAFE SEX  
**Marco** : BE SAFE USE CONDOM  
**Daewon** : brb gonna kill marco

_Daewon is offline_

_Kijung is online_

**Kijung** : WTF AAS THAT NOISE  
**Kijung** : IS THA A ROCKST LAUNCJSD

_Marco is offline_

**Kijung** : HEY CHAN  
**Chan** : WHAT  
**Kijung** : I WILL FIGHT U  
**Chan** : BRING IT ON  
**Kijung** : I WILL MAKE JUNIE HYUNG FALL IN LOVE WITH ME  
**Kijung** : AND U WILL BE STUCK IN HOJUNG HYUNGS DUNGEON WITH HANSOL  
**Hojung** : no thanks  
**Hojung** : no one wants chan  
**Chan** : JUN DOES!!!  
**Hojung** : d e l u s i o n a l  
**Chan** : WHEN JUNIE FINALLY ACCEPTS ME, WE WILL MAKE LOVE AND HE WILL BE MINE  
**Hojung** : as much as i wanna make sweet, tender love to junie, i wanna wreck dat tight ass n fill it with my cum n make him clean my dick with his pouty lips  
**Chan** : I WILL NEVER DO THAT  
**Chan** : I WILL PRIORITIZE HIS PLEASURE BEFORE ME  
**Chan** : OUR LOVE IS REAL YOU GUYS ARE JUST HORNYY FUCKERS  
**Hojung** : v a n i l l a  
**Chan** : ITS CALLED LOVE  
**Kijung** : i wanna learn how to eat cum off well fucked asses  
**Hojung** : i'd love to teach u but hansol's ass is so used up that he cant even keep cum inside his gaping hole  
**Chan** : why u use hansol??  
**Hojung** : hansol is a slut  
**Hojung** : i prefer sweet virgin junie  
**Kijung** : idk why junie hyung roomed with YOU  
**Chan** : JUNIE LOVES ME!!  
**Hojung** : junie srsly regretting his decision now  
**Chan** : FUCK OFF

_Euijin is online_

**Euijin** : no foul language dick shits  
**Euijin** : bitches learn to speak fuckin politely  
**Euijin** : respect ur goddamn elders  
**Euijin** : no porn talk whilw kijung is present

_Euijin is offline_

**Hojung** : w o w  
**Kijung** : porn talk??  
**Kijung** : i literally fucked chans asshole into a blackhole last week  
**Chan** : FUCK OFF!!!!  
**Hojung** : i must commend u for that. The art of fucking is something that must be learned through hard work and dedication  
**Kijung** : as a disciple of hangyul, i must remain vigilant, so i fill my mind with perverse thoughts  
**Hojung** : same. Mostly bout banging junie in my room while chan watches  
**Chan** : JUNIE IS MINE. I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO STEAL MY JUNIE  
**Hojung** : challenge accepted

_Daewon is online_

**Daewon** : i won't lose  
**Daewon** : hojung may have a sex dungeon but my room literally has everything

_Marco is online_

**Marco** : CONDOMS INCLUDED

**Daewon** : brb gonna kill marco AGAIN

_Daewon is offline_

_Marco is offline_

**Chan** : I DONT CARE  
**Chan** : JUNIE IS MINE  
**Kijung** : NO MINE  
**Chan** : FUCK OFF  
**Kijung** : YOU FUCK OFF  
**Chan** : GET LOST  
**Kijung** : YOU GET LOST  
**Kijung** : STOP STALKING JUNIE HYUNG  
**Kijung** : YOUR THE REASON JUNIE HYUNG IS NEVER HERE  
**Chan** : *YOU'RE  
**Kijung** : HA FUCKING HA  
**Chan** : JUN IS MINE

_Hojung added Jun to the group_

**Hojung** : Finally found him! Hi Junie!  
**Hojung** : i can hear chan's mental breakdown from my room  
**Kijung** : yeah he sounds like a dying koala

_Jun is finally online_

**Jun** : how do u know what a dying koala sounds like  
**Kijung** : nature documentary  
**Hojung** : u mean the beastiality porn i found on ur laptop

_Kijung is offline having a mental breakdown_

**Jun** : wtf  
**Hojung** : a fair warning- do not backscroll  
**Hojung** : it is for ur own good  
**Jun** : it's ok  
**Jun** : i've seen worse  
**Jun** : apparently, 'peaches and cream' is hangyul's slang for something sexual  
**Hojung** : an anal creampie?  
**Jun** : yeah  
**Hojung** : do you want to have ur ass filled with lots of warm, creamy jizz?  
**Hojung** : i promise i'll be gentle~

_Jun is offline_

**Hojung** : well shit  
**Hojung** : i'll go check on him before he reports me to the grim reaper aka soohyun sunbaenim  
**Hojung** : where is junie anyway?

_Kijung is back online after recovering from his mental breakdown regarding the questionable nature documentary in his laptop_

**Kijung** : he went out??  
**Chan** : I WILL FIND MY JUNIE  
**Kijung** : NO I WILL FIND JUNIE HYUNG BEFORE U

_Chan is offline_

_Kijung is offline_

_Daewon is online_

**Daewon** : hey u found junie!  
**Daewon** : but u scared him...  
**Hojung** : we better start coming up with better excuses why we have an entire album on oue camera rolls dedicated to his nipples  
**Daewon** : for science??  
**Hojung** : seems legit  
**Hojung** : lactation studies??  
**Daewon** : is that another kink?  
**Hojung** : no kinkshaming  
**Daewon** : am not, u know i have a thing for junies pouty lips n puffy nipples right?  
**Hojung** : i know  
**Hojung** : u keep remindjng me that u jack off to photos of junies nipples when ur lonely  
**Hojung** : and since ur always sad n alone, im guessin u do it every night  
**Daewon** : ha ha no  
**Daewon** : twice a week to maintain healthy sperm production  
**Hojung** : thats very relevant information  
**Hojung** : did u know that i sneak into junies room to take pictures of him while he sleeps cause im a creep?  
**Daewon** : isnt that chans job?  
**Hojung** : chans doin a bad job of being a creep since hes always high so i do it for him  
**Daewon** : isnt chan like a 24hr surveillance camera tho  
**Hojung** : +cactus essence  
**Daewon** : right  
**Daewon** : someone drag chan to rehab  
**Hojung** : nah  
**Hojung** : he cool when he high  
**Daewon** : +kijung tho  
**Daewon** : hallucination sex is not meant to be a thing  
**Hojung** : do u wanna have hallucination sex w chan  
**Daewon** : oh god no  
**Daewon** : have mercy on this poor soul  
**Daewon** : i still want to have kids and grow old with my future wife aka junie  
**Hojung** : domestic mpreg kink??  
**Daewon** : what  
**Hojung** : vanilla i like it

_Marco is online_

**Daewon** : brb gonna kill marco

_Daewon is offline_

**Marco** : I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING YET

_Marco is offline_

**Hojung** : why am i always alone or stucK with chan in this gc

_Hansol is online_

**Hansol** : Hello, Hojung.  
**Hojung** : well damn  
**Hojung** : i was perfectly fine chatting to no one in particular until u came along  
**Hojung** : guess imma leave now Have fun vye  
**Hansol** : Please stay a while.  
**Hansol** : There is something I wish to discuss with you.  
**Hansol** : I see you have added my boyfriend, Junie to this despicable group chat.  
**Hansol** : In order to protect my beloved one's innocence and maintain the purity of his mind and soul, I shall establish new rules in this group chat.  
**Hansol** : RULE #1: Strictly no foul language will be used.  
**Hansol** : RULE #2: Strictly no perverse topics shall be discussed in this group chat.  
**Hansol** : RULE #3: Respect must be observed when sending messages to this group chat. For instance, Kijung must address Chan with the appropriate honorific 'hyung'.  
**Hansol** : RULE #4: Please do not send photos or images that may contain sensitive material.  
**Hansol** : RULE #5: Do not express inappropriate attraction towards my boyfriend. It is highly disturbing.  
**Hojung** : u have a boyfriend??  
**Hansol** : We made it official on Instagram.

_Hansol sent a photo_

**Hojung** : junie liked ur post so therefore he is ur boyfriend now  
**Hojung** : ok ill lkke some of junies post so i can be his boyfriend too  
**Hojung** : also i have better pics of junie

_Hojung sent a photo_

**Hansol** : I SAID NO SENSITIVE CONTENT  
**Hojung** : ikr junie must have VERY sensitive nipples  
**Hansol** : DID YOU EVEN READ THE RULES  
**Hojung** : u aint seen nothin yet

_Hojung sent a photo_

**Hansol** : WHAT IS THIS  
**Hansol** : WHEN DID YOU TAKE THIS PHOTO  
**Hansol** : IS THIS CONSENSUAL  
**Hansol** : IS THAT YOUR HAND  
**Hansol** : WHAT ARE YOU DOING  
**Hansol** : HOJUNG  
**Hojung** : ;)

_Hojung is offline_  
\---  
Where is Jun?  
-with his donghyun appa <3  
-giving seyong a bj  
-getting dirty with euijin (g) & yebin

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't a gc fic though... this is just a preview


End file.
